Sunday, May 6, 2012

Ordinary World, A Delcious World

Reginald Delicious was a young woman living in Piqua, Ohio. She liked to go by Reggie and her favorite word was cactus. Every now and then, she like to stop at the local taco truck and get a breakfast burrito on her way to to work at J.C. Penny. After a nine hour shift at the store, Reggie would make her way home along the freeway and watch the sunset as she would drive. She didn't really have time or energy to go out during the evening on her workdays, so she stayed home at night.

For dinner she would make a different miniature lasagna for herself. You see, Reggie lived alone and she would have simply too much lasagna if she made a full pan. Monday was original recipe. Tuesday was vegetarian. Wednesday was triple cheese. Thursday was made with white sauce. And since she was dieting, Friday was also vegetarian.

On Saturdays Reggie would begin her morning with three cups of coffee and a banana. She would then spend two hours tending to her garden and then get ready for the day. She would always clean out her closet on Saturdays, even though she cleaned it the Saturday before. It seemed that Reggie's closet always needed a good cleaning on Saturdays.

Saturday evenings was girls night out for Reggie. Every Saturday, Reggie and her friends would try out different bars around the city. They loved a variety, you see. They would order martinis, find the most secluded and distant table, and eat the pizza they snuck in under their shirts. They would sit at their table and glance at attractive men, but would simply remain with their martinis and pizza.

Sunday were dedicated to family and God. Reggie would got to the local Lutheran church in the morning and afterward, would to visit her aging father and at a nearby retirement home. Reggie and Mr. Delicious played Scrabble on Sundays. Around five o'clock, Reggie would retire for the evening and busy herself with household chores and errands.

Reggie did this every week. She didn't complain and she never strayed from this routine. She also didn't realize that he hated her life.


Monday: Reggie wakes up, taco-truck, J.C. Penny, sunset, original recipe.

Tuesday: Reggie wakes up, no taco-truck today-- she eats toast instead, J.C. Penny, sunset, vegetarian.

Wednesday: Reggie wakes up, taco-truck, J.C. Penny, sunset, triple cheese.

Thursday: Reggie wakes up, stubs her toe, taco truck was out of burritos, no breakfast, J.C. Penny, Reggie is really hungry, Reggie really fatigued from this hunger, Reggie briefly passes out while driving towards the sunset and crashes her car into a wall at 75 mph.

Friday: Reggie wakes up, she's in a hospital, she's naked, she can't move, Reggie screams for help, no one come, Reggie goes to sleep.

Saturday: Reggie wakes up, eyes are all around her, she's still naked so she blushes, so many eyes looking at her, Reggie is lifted up and put into a wheel chair, Reggie's friends will be missing her tonight, the eyes wheel her across the room, Reggie passes mirror and sees that her face is made of metal, Reggie is now a cyborg, Reggie faints.

Sunday: Reggie find out she is now property of the U.S. government, Mr. Delicious signed her broken body over to them for enough money to get him out of the retirement home, Mr. Delicious only misses Reggie a little today, Reggie is both soldier and weapon and must do whatever he superiors order, Reggie now realizes that she hated her old life and she still hates her life now.

Will Reggie be eternally a slave to the government?
Will she ever get to taste a breakfast burrito again?
What is it that her superiors are going to force her to do?


This was weird---Happy Sunday.

No comments:

Post a Comment